Often the fault we find in others is something we are struggling with internally.
Sometimes, we may identify a behavior on our part that invited a negative response. Other times, we get negative responses even though we have done nothing.
Many times, however, it is important to see what thoughts we have been thinking or what belief system we are unwittingly seeking confirmation for. Remember, we get back what we put out. To see another person as a mirror of what you are believing, thinking, feeling, or behaving is a way of breaking out of a fruitless pattern of projection. Seeing others as a mirror of our own thoughts and beliefs and behaviors helps us to break through the illusion of separateness that the ego mind holds, which is why the exercise is so valuable. Otherwise, we could go on maintaining the illusion of separateness, and that there is someone out there who is separate and apart from me, and who is doing something to me. But, if we can see the person as a mirror of ourselves, the illusion of separateness breaks down, for that is me over there doing that thing as well. We can now see that it is not another separate person acting upon me, but rather, it is part of me over there! This exercise is part of taking responsibility for healing our relationships and creating a spiritual marriage.
- Next, think about what that person does that upsets you, the behavior you can’t stand. And then ask yourself, “Am I like that in any way? Maybe I don’t express it in the same style, with the same personality, or even the same degree. But, how do I express that to any degree in a way that is at all similar?
- Try to acknowledge even a remote similarity.
- Once you get in touch with those characteristics within yourself and own them as yours, too, see how you feel. Try not to judge yourself, but rather, accept these undesirable traits within you as just a fact.
- Then, choose to deal with the issues inside yourself instead of trying to fix them in the other person.
If we can see the Divine spark in other people, and see the god self in each of them, then we can also see it more clearly in ourselves. What we see in ourselves, we will see in others, and what we see in others, reflects what we believe in ourselves. When we see the other person as mirroring our insides, then we have begun to awaken to the world of the True Self. All the problems with others that grow out of our own projections and arise from the illusion of separation are thereby diminished or extinguished for that moment.